The lack of a mission

Sometimes I get so jealous of people.
One category is those who have an obvious mission in their lives.
You know when you were younger and you would write in such ‘My friends’ books, what you wanted to be when you grew up?
I always wrote just something I read that someone else wanted to be, kind .. Dolphins assistant (although I have always been a little afraid of animals living in water). I was envious of those who had written dolphin keeper first, desired course, that I remember.
Bit so it is now when I are an adult as well.
Can almost feel what I go by a little inside when I hear someone say that ”I’ve known all my life that I wanted to be a doctor, an artist or a ballet dancer.”
I wonder how it feels to know that.
What beautiful with a crystal clear mission like that, I think, a point in the distance to aim at.
For me the journey has been more like a pinball, I never knew exactly where I am going but still always felt very strongly when I wrong place.
And then I started on.
But something that I for some time come to be passionate about, is the writing. I love what it does to me and how it makes me grow as a person. The feeling of putting my words on paper and even better, feeling that others can share my thoughts. It is thrilling and challenging at the same time.
Around the same time, I am fully aware that it requires little retraining and a hell to live on my writing. In addition to fighting with my inner bad thoughts if I’m not good enough for this, is also a real challenge. To say nothing of the grammatical … Oh my God!
Oh well. I might after all have a little mission when I think about it. It just took some time time figuring with it. And the question is, dare I?