Life must go on

Life goes on. My father was operated on monday. The reduced the metastases in the liver and everything went as the doctors planned. Now it only remains radiation and an operation to remove the main tumor in the bowel. Cancer is really a terrible disease.

I feel a little depressed right now and just working, cooking or going out on walks with Charlie is making me so tired. I guess it´s my bodys way to say; slow down for a while. So I will.

Running up that hill





Life feels a bit fragile at the moment. My father is noticeably more tired now, during his chemo treatments and I am concerned. He was diagnosed with cancer this summer in the bowel and liver. On monday he will have the first of two operations and I´m so nervous. My whole heart wishes that he will fix this. I am not prepared to say goodbye now. It is far too early. He is only 60 years old and still working. We have in recent years found each other, on one of those nice way. We can sit and talk about everything over a cup of coffee and hours can go. These moments are the best things I know.

About being single

You know all those movies about single girls in their 30s who hunt for the perfect career and the perfect man? Those kinds of movies that are fun to watch from a distance, but no one really wants to live in? Well, I'm in it. Though there are not as many brunches with perfect dressed girlfriends with successful careers, not as much money for extravagant shopping adventures, and not as many proposers (in the movies, there are always two, preferably one good and one bad, and at least one of them played by Hugh Grant).

I have many friends in my age. It's just that most people do not play in the same film. A while ago they switched the channel and now is the American family sitcoms with a laugh machine which lightens the mood, every four minutes. I sit a bit confused still with the remote in my hand and I slowly realize that they have gone to the other side of the screen, living the life I can only look at the glow of a flat screen. For they have done as you should, in real life. They have moved on. They have secured a steady job and a secure income. Fished up a partner. Possibly multiplied by the same. Determined to be us rather than me and myself.

Friendship's sort of by definition, secondary to the love. Not unimportant, but secondary. They found a higher purpose. It is always fascinating and compelling to watch. Just as the phenomenon of people who have children and explain that it is now life begins. Before the children they had nothing. And it does not matter how many movies about SATC Manolo heels in the desert to produce, for in reality, the single life no higher status than a couple entered cheap shoes from Wal-Mart.
Are you in marriage age and somehow still single there is a huge risk that we-people gets easily uncomfortable. If this perversion of the human family could get together and go into life, part two. So you did not have to feel guilty when you have other commitments and priorities that singles does not understand.

In defense you are lying about how good it is to be on your own. You try to make solitude to a status concept. And every single biological clock is still ticking ... No stress, they say. And yet it is just glass facades that threatens to crush from everyday asphalt. For the hand of the lonely heart it is a fact of life that most of us just want to be a part of just one of those couples who have other priorities. Which is perhaps a little jealous of the unbound single life, but at the end of the day they still are content to not be one of the lost souls. Who can see things clearly and at a safe distance from the pillow on the relative pedestal.

 Who can get his life served with laughter intervals every four minutes.

Day 09 – Your beliefs

I believe in love. And quantum physics. What goes around comes around.



When I was younger I wondered why all too often happened to me. In particular, I focused on all the negative events and experiences such as divorce, relationship problems and other troubles. Added another problem as I had only evidence of my negative theory, see! everything is just shit what ever I do! It made me depressed and sad too often, and above all, it took an enormous amount of my energy.

Now that I am thirty-four years old, I am more grateful than ever about all that happened to me over the years, good and bad. I'm trying to think of it as that I never had been enriched with all the life skills I carry on today, even though if I had to fight my way through some parts of my life. Fighting create gratitude, awareness and humility for myself and the people around me might be just as they are for a reason that I might not have a clue of before.

In the future it is important to never forget that. That it´s through my greatest trials I developed most as a human being. May I never forget this. I choose to see life in that way everything happens for a reason. For that life will get better and that I should learn more about myself and thus also become more humble towards my fellow human beings.



In my book called God wears lipstick, there is a sense that I try to live by every day:

"Never expect anything from anyone before you Have given it yourself."

Never expect anything in life unless you are willing to first give it yourself. Positive begets positive and negative begets negative. There we have the essence of quantum physics.



♥

Day 03 – Your parents

My father was born in 1951 and works at Sweden's largest bank Nordea. My mother, born a year after my father, is a nurse. They both mean a lot to me and I have a very good and close relationship with them.


Mom and dad were born and raised in Gothenburg in Sweden. For about six years ago they bought a house in the country after many years in the big city. They love it there even though it means two hours of commuting to and from work every day. Mom has her horse boarded at the neighbor across the road which she thinks is wonderful. To ride and care for her horse is the best she knows. Dad has a great interest in music, especially classical music. In younger years he played piano for a professor and had dreams to become a professional pianist. But then came another in the way but he kept the piano-playing on a hobby instead. I remember very well all the times he played at weddings and funerals during my childhood. Today he is busy working and taking care of the house and the large garden of 4000 sqm.


Mom and dad met for the very first time in the early 1970's. My mom was married at the time but after a few years they became a couple and married 1975. Dad quickly noticed mom and quickly became fond of her. Mom remembers so well that she took a liking to my father after a while. He had a wonderful twinkle in his eyes. 1977 I was born and 15 months later my little sister.


When I was five, so mom opened a fabric store with a friend. Her friend also had children in exactly the same age as me and my sister. So every other day mom was working in the shop and then took her friend care for all of us children. And so they took turns on. Mom has always had a keen interest in fashion and fabric store went out really good. They also sewed up some pieces and sold. After five years her friend became pregnant with a third child and wanted to wind down and stop. Mom and she chose to sell it instead. She saddled and worked as a childminder for a few years ago to study further to become a nurse.


My parents are not perfect. There are obviously some things that they might now want to do again. My dad for example should had been a little more with us children when we were young. But I think most parents feel that. But I think today they really did their best given certain circumstances. I've always been a bit of a daddy's girl while my little sister suggested a lot to om. In adolescence, it squeaked a bit between me and mom but there are things that are forgotten today. We have talked about the difficult things and moved on. It is most important. That you can talk about the difficult things that might weigh one's heart, it is extremely important. Life is sometimes like a rollercoaster. In tough times, assistance from family, the finest available.


We traveled a lot during my childhood. I have wonderful memories of the very first overseas trip to Portugal, where I also learned how to swim. Excitement of big cities such as Barcelona, ​​Vienna, Paris and London. Thanks Mom & Dad for being there! I love you with all my ♥